dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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