That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
