I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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