well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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