When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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