do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops