well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
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It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
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How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!