just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.