I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
