Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
