i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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