How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Are my feet made of real feet?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
