marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
