I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
