Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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