I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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