I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
