weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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