glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
