R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
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Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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