if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
