We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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