it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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