guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
