Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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