If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize