barbara walters just said penis...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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