All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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