But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
time to smoke my breakfast
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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