like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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