Your mouth is God's brothel.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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