So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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