so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
