I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
