I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
