haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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