I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
