Got a toothbrush?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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