hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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