my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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