All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
