Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
