Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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