im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
