Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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