i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
