i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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