I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
