Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
