you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
