Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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