ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
