separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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