i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
