Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We have started to decorate penises.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
