my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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