and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
