but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
