As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
PANTIES FOUND
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