The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
