A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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