Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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